like this.

there is a pregnant woman in my biology class, and today she was saying that she has been having the worst cravings for mcdonald's french fries, but the company supports things that she doesn't agree with, so she doesn't eat there. i was thinking something along the lines of violating animal rights or shitty food quality. but then she said that they contributed money to gay and lesbian organizations, and she would not give them her patronage "for the future of my children." to which i should have said, "yeah, because all of those homosexuals wanting equal rights are such an imminent danger to your family, you dumb bitch." but who wants to fight a pregnant lady?

luckily, my biology professor is this wonderful sudanese man who is rather soft-spoken and has an adorable accent. i was so enamored by him i could not be fully outraged by her ridiculousness. my professor sports a lot of creative outfits, especially for someone who is about sixty years old. today, for example, he was wearing a collared shirt under a multi-color striped beige sweater. over the sweater he had a similarly colored beige blazer with a tiny brown plaid pattern and a matching newsboy cap. he was wearing gray slacks and, to complete the ensemble, brown/beige NIKE DUNKS. i told him i liked his outfit. in response to which he raised his arms, did a spin and said, "thank you, thank you!"

and i died.