today my mom and i were driving home from lowe's, and it was hot, so my mother suggested we stop to purchase cold coffee drinks. after obnoxiously slurping down her frappucino, the following conversation occured.
mom: i feel like edward.
me: ... who is edward?
mom: edward. his hands and lips are always cold.
me: (after a solid moment) oh my god. you're talking about edward cullen, a fictional vampire douchebag from twilight.
so, my mom and brother (who swears he is not a homosexual) have been super into this shit lately. and because they had both finished the books, they rented the movie. a vampire lovestory written by a mormon sounds pretty retarded to me, and despite testimonials of probably dozens of people, i have had no desire to read these books.
now that i have watched about 45 minutes of the unintentionally hilarious movie, i am so glad i went with my instinct. because even if the book is far better, as i have been assured by many, i can sum up my feelings about this argument with the age old saying, "you can't polish a turd."
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
a few things.
there are some topics i feel i must talk about. they vary in levels of importance.
1. why is the popularity of maxi-dresses soaring? i do not understand. they are ugly on about 96 percent of the population. really, unless you are a pregnant nicole richie, you should probably steer clear.
2. i got boobs when i was probably ten or eleven. they were nothing to write hugh hefner about, but they were bigger than the sets other girls my age were sporting. they did not slow in their growth until i was close to finishing high school. unfortunately, the rest of my body stopped growing when i was twelve, leaving me with a (not quite) 5'2'' frame to lug around my extra-full fun bags. so, shopping for bras is typically a demoralizing process. mostly because i think several brands tend to vanity size, to give ladies of more modest bust the impression that their cup size is larger than it is, which is pretty silly and inconvenient for some of us who have a hard enough time even finding a 34DD, only to spew out at the sides. if i were to find a bra that was able to sufficiently cover my assets, it would undoubtedly be ugly. like, "my grandma's hand-me-down" ugly.
but a few days ago i made a life-changing discovery while at dillard's. i was casually perusing the intimates section when i picked up an attractive bra and realized that the entire rack consisted of bras for C-cups and greater. the brand is lunaire (with a collection called "whimsy"), and it's not any more expensive than most department store brands but definitely better looking. if you or someone you know has a supersized rack, pass the word along.
3. my dog totally just held his puke until i opened the door to let him out. how thoughtful.
4. i am once again unsure of what to do with my life. i really thought i wanted to major in journalism and then apply that degree to a career that involved writing. but i am inclied to feel like i don't really need to go to school for that. i should just be able to get a job and work my way up. and i am worried about job security and lack of income because even employed journalists tend to make moderate wages. i don't really see myself living an extravagant lifestyle, but i would like to feel secure and be able to afford having babies at some point down the road. i'm sure it's possible, but journalism so competitive and i know the work itself would be stressful. i just don't know if i'll be able to take it as far as i'm picturing it in my head. i would certainly not want to write for a local newspaper forever.
because of this i have thrust myself back into quarter-life crisis mode. i have been considering switching my final career destination to somewhere in the medical field. because a)i find it intersting and b)people are always getting sick, which is conducive to employment. ideally, i would like to be a medical examiner because i wouldn't need to have a bedside manner. but you have to be a doctor in order to medically examine the deceased, and i am really not that committed. this is why i am seriously thinking about becoming a nurse.
it feels like selling out. but i think it might just be a sign of maturation. i really have no idea what i'm doing. lolz.
1. why is the popularity of maxi-dresses soaring? i do not understand. they are ugly on about 96 percent of the population. really, unless you are a pregnant nicole richie, you should probably steer clear.
2. i got boobs when i was probably ten or eleven. they were nothing to write hugh hefner about, but they were bigger than the sets other girls my age were sporting. they did not slow in their growth until i was close to finishing high school. unfortunately, the rest of my body stopped growing when i was twelve, leaving me with a (not quite) 5'2'' frame to lug around my extra-full fun bags. so, shopping for bras is typically a demoralizing process. mostly because i think several brands tend to vanity size, to give ladies of more modest bust the impression that their cup size is larger than it is, which is pretty silly and inconvenient for some of us who have a hard enough time even finding a 34DD, only to spew out at the sides. if i were to find a bra that was able to sufficiently cover my assets, it would undoubtedly be ugly. like, "my grandma's hand-me-down" ugly.
but a few days ago i made a life-changing discovery while at dillard's. i was casually perusing the intimates section when i picked up an attractive bra and realized that the entire rack consisted of bras for C-cups and greater. the brand is lunaire (with a collection called "whimsy"), and it's not any more expensive than most department store brands but definitely better looking. if you or someone you know has a supersized rack, pass the word along.
3. my dog totally just held his puke until i opened the door to let him out. how thoughtful.
4. i am once again unsure of what to do with my life. i really thought i wanted to major in journalism and then apply that degree to a career that involved writing. but i am inclied to feel like i don't really need to go to school for that. i should just be able to get a job and work my way up. and i am worried about job security and lack of income because even employed journalists tend to make moderate wages. i don't really see myself living an extravagant lifestyle, but i would like to feel secure and be able to afford having babies at some point down the road. i'm sure it's possible, but journalism so competitive and i know the work itself would be stressful. i just don't know if i'll be able to take it as far as i'm picturing it in my head. i would certainly not want to write for a local newspaper forever.
because of this i have thrust myself back into quarter-life crisis mode. i have been considering switching my final career destination to somewhere in the medical field. because a)i find it intersting and b)people are always getting sick, which is conducive to employment. ideally, i would like to be a medical examiner because i wouldn't need to have a bedside manner. but you have to be a doctor in order to medically examine the deceased, and i am really not that committed. this is why i am seriously thinking about becoming a nurse.
it feels like selling out. but i think it might just be a sign of maturation. i really have no idea what i'm doing. lolz.
Friday, April 10, 2009
just being hypocritical.
i have a lot of internal dialogue. it would be a monologue, but i am a gemini. so i really do just have a lot of back and forth in my own head. typically over lots of unimportant things. a recurring topic is how much i love/hate the internet.
i care about the internet very much. it makes life so god damn convenient all the time. and you can download things illegally, therefore saving money and the environment because you don't have to burn those fossil fuels to get to the movie theater or wherever it is that people buy music. the internet can give directions, and recipes and teach you do a variety of activities, like crocheting or giving blow jobs.
so, let me make it clear, i do not want to give up the internet. but i definitely think the internet has caused some damage to society or at least my faith in it.
first of all, if you ever needed reassurance that much of the population is of shockingly low intelligence, visit yahoo answers or read the user comments on news articles. it's depressing.
while the internet obviously offers a wealth of information, i am beginning to realize that this is not always a good thing. for example, i had a doctor's appointment today. i was asking her questions and twice they directly contradicted with what i had read on the world wide web. so now i don't know if i should a)assume this doctor does not know what she is talking about or b)stop believing everything i read on seemingly credible websites offering health-related information.
my most pressing internal battle involving the internet concerns personal/social networking websites. i totally have a myspace (...and a facebook that i never update so it doesn't count as existing), and i am definitely writing a fucking blog right now, which in intself concerns me. myspace has been extraordinarily useful in allowing me to keep in touch with far away people, while also allowing me to remember what they look like in different settings (by themsevles, at parties, during summer, at christmas etc) and keep up with their current interests and state of mind. all of this i like.
but here's what i don't: all of these sites -- myspace, facebook, twitter... especially twitter -- are so self-indulgent. once again, i recognize that i am writing a blog, and i am a self-absorbed asshole myself. this is essentially the whole crux of my internal dialogue. but have we, as human beings, always been this voyeuristic and eager to portray ourselves for others? were we just waiting for the appropriate medium to enable us?
i can't really say that it's a good thing to have these tools to attempt to manipulate the way that people see you in real life. because you are not your myspace profile. and you are not cooler because you list abstract bands in your music section. nor are you a photographer just because you have a nice camera, and having a myspace music profile does not make you talented. i am not writing this angrily but factually.
self-obsession is really something that should be frowned upon not encouraged. the internet has clearly made delusions of grandeur remarkably easier to develop and maintain, which is a fairly toxic side effect of the greatness that is the world wide web.
i care about the internet very much. it makes life so god damn convenient all the time. and you can download things illegally, therefore saving money and the environment because you don't have to burn those fossil fuels to get to the movie theater or wherever it is that people buy music. the internet can give directions, and recipes and teach you do a variety of activities, like crocheting or giving blow jobs.
so, let me make it clear, i do not want to give up the internet. but i definitely think the internet has caused some damage to society or at least my faith in it.
first of all, if you ever needed reassurance that much of the population is of shockingly low intelligence, visit yahoo answers or read the user comments on news articles. it's depressing.
while the internet obviously offers a wealth of information, i am beginning to realize that this is not always a good thing. for example, i had a doctor's appointment today. i was asking her questions and twice they directly contradicted with what i had read on the world wide web. so now i don't know if i should a)assume this doctor does not know what she is talking about or b)stop believing everything i read on seemingly credible websites offering health-related information.
my most pressing internal battle involving the internet concerns personal/social networking websites. i totally have a myspace (...and a facebook that i never update so it doesn't count as existing), and i am definitely writing a fucking blog right now, which in intself concerns me. myspace has been extraordinarily useful in allowing me to keep in touch with far away people, while also allowing me to remember what they look like in different settings (by themsevles, at parties, during summer, at christmas etc) and keep up with their current interests and state of mind. all of this i like.
but here's what i don't: all of these sites -- myspace, facebook, twitter... especially twitter -- are so self-indulgent. once again, i recognize that i am writing a blog, and i am a self-absorbed asshole myself. this is essentially the whole crux of my internal dialogue. but have we, as human beings, always been this voyeuristic and eager to portray ourselves for others? were we just waiting for the appropriate medium to enable us?
i can't really say that it's a good thing to have these tools to attempt to manipulate the way that people see you in real life. because you are not your myspace profile. and you are not cooler because you list abstract bands in your music section. nor are you a photographer just because you have a nice camera, and having a myspace music profile does not make you talented. i am not writing this angrily but factually.
self-obsession is really something that should be frowned upon not encouraged. the internet has clearly made delusions of grandeur remarkably easier to develop and maintain, which is a fairly toxic side effect of the greatness that is the world wide web.
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