yesterday at dinner i was sitting in front of my food waiting for my mother and brother to be done preparing their plates and anticipating my mother's prayer she usually delivers before the meal. she noticed i hadn't started eating.
mom: (excitedly) oh, you want me to say grace?
me: well, i was sort of expecting it since you say it every night. but i would feel fine eating my food without it.
mom: i can't believe you said that.. (pause)
dear heavenly father, please save stephanie from an eternity in hell.
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