this is not what i asked for.

when i was making my way back to the south, i had a two hour layover in portland. i was pretty fucking despondent upon landing because i had to get up several hours prior to the crack of dawn but primarily because of a handsome young lad unfortunately located in spokane. upon landing, i discovered my next flight was delayed for an hour, which could have potentially fucked my other connection to get to atlanta, which was now scheduled to depart about 10 minutes after my delayed flight landed. so, i was forced to sit in the terminal, miserable, tired and anxious, for about three hours.

as time passed, the gate area filled up, and this group of loud, dirty, douchey-looking hipsters sat in the row across from me. because they were not using library voices, i could overhear their conversations with ease. they talked about guitars and basketball and how they hoped their luggage was now going to make it onto the plane since they were late, but the flight was delayed. and how much it would suck to have to wear these boots in miami, their final destination, for a week if it didn't. and what to tell your doctor to get certain prescription medications, like ambien and xanax. i also watched them play on the walking escalator things you find in airports. the entire duration of my waiting period i kept thinking, "you people are obnoxious," and, "the chubby girl looks oddly familiar." then i got on the plane, seated far away from any of these people, and continued to soak in my misery.

today i was doing my daily celebrity gossip browsing and saw the following:

that is beth ditto. she is the singer in a group called the gossip, who i have read about on lots of occasions but never actually listened to. i'm pretty sure the only reason i am at all familiar with them is because beth ditto usually does things like this:





i for some reason thought that the gossip were british. but i think that's just because people actually care about them in england. so, when i saw that orange-haired girl this morning, i immediately thought, "she looks just like that person whose obnoxiousness kept me distracted from my depression at the pdx airport," and moved on. but i kept thinking about it today, so i did a little bit of investigating to find out that a) beth ditto is from arkansas, not england. b) she was voted the coolest person in rock by nme magazine c) the gossip is based in portland, oregon and d) they performed at some art thing in miami at the beginning of december.

underwhelming conclusion: i finally saw (someone who is considered) a celebrity (by some people) up close in an airport and didn't even realize it or give a shit.

obviously, i have been robbed. why wasn't it a famous rapper in atlanta, like i have been politely requesting for the last two and a half years? or kim kardashian? or just someone i would have instantly recognized and wanted to take a picture with, huh? this would have without a doubt made me feel better at the time. now i am left feeling empty and cheated because that was probably my only "get to see a celebrity at an airport" card, and i accidentally used it up on this bitch. it's not even a cool fucking story.

fuck my life.