i was haphazardly trying to find something to watch, and i noticed there was a true blood marathon on hbo. i knew the following: it's about vampires, and anna paquin is on it. in an effort to learn more, i decided to rest the remote. i cannot say i was necessarily enthralled by the show's premise of vampires struggling to be accepted by society in louisiana. but it's an hbo show, so people kept having sex and nothing else was on. therefore i stayed tuned.
i continued to watch for three hours, attempting to discern my feelings about the show. i wanted to like it, but it was just too fucking weird. like, at one point anna paquin got the shit kicked out of her and had to consume her vampire-friend's blood to survive. so he (the vampire) bit a chunk out of his wrist, and she sucked on it for a long time in a way one might suck on another male appendage. so, that was awkward to watch.
a few episodes later, anna paquin's womanizing brother drank a whole vile of vampire blood, resulting in the word's most unrelenting erection. i knew it was time for me to move on when he announced something along the lines of, "i feel like i have gout of the dick."
that was definitely the deal breaker. but a minor, yet persistent issue i had with the show was that anna paquin's character is named "sookie," which is so incredibly unpleasant to my ears. it invokes an inexplicable hatred in me, sort of like drew barrymore. i wish it was pronounced like "soupy," but it isn't. and until this changes, i don't want to hear it. ever.
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